Poem – Having Hope

Having Hope

The fear and the panic,
Still moments of joy,
Seeming to intensify,
When I learned she wasn’t a boy.

So precious and fragile,
A sweet little girl.
How could I protect her,
From the dangers of this world?

Could I keep her safe?
Would she grow to be happy?
Worrying about the big things,
Wait, how do I change her nappy!?

Heart racing, sleepless night’s,
Spent tossing and turning.
“I can’t be a good mum”…
All lies, I’m now learning.

What ifs, buts and maybes,
Tortured my mind,
But I see clearly now,
The pregnant me was blind.
A brand-new perspective,
Suddenly burst into view.
Knowing glances from other mums,
As though saying “me too”.

What is this new club,
It’s like I joined over night.
I can’t remember it happening,
I just know it feels right.

I’m mum to a daughter,
She’s love, joy and Hope.
Of course there are difficulties,
But somehow, we just cope.

Birth itself was traumatic,
I declared “Never again!”,
But gazing into Hopes eyes,
I forget all of that pain.

So if I met pregnant me now,
Would I recognise her?
I’d say, with a smile,
“It’s true, you get better.”